Relationships - Friends

‘A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.’
Leo Buscaglia

‘The glory of friendship is not the outstretched hand, nor the kindly smile, nor the joy of companionship; it is the spiritual inspiration that comes to one when he discovers that someone else believes in him and is willing to trust him with his friendship.’
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Growing up, we meet many people from all walks of life.  Those we click with and those we just simply cannot get along with.  However, it is those you hit it off with and flow with the best - the ones which become good friends and sometimes even "best friends".  Those that share many of your interests and favorite topics of discussion; those that are willing to come out in the middle of the night because your aunt passed away and needed some one to talk to.  A best friend that would experience all the ups and downs with you and accept you as their friend even with all your annoying habits and seemingly distasteful choice of clothes.  No, what this friend had was a mutual understanding she shared with you about lie and that there are other things in life than the latest gadgets, studies or partying at the club.  It was a friendship that noticed the beauty of the simple things of just lazying around in the common room doing nothing but rotting together.

No matter how good of friends you are with that person, differences existed in both personalities.  Differences, nevertheless which found an odd harmonious complement to each other.  Arguments happen with every one, and it does not exclude your best friend.  However, arguments with best friend never goes as easy as other normal arguments.  More feelings are at stake for both parties and it is ALWAYS more painful than anticipated.  But, what I discovered last year was that the arguments and the pain brought with them were nothing compared to the pain I felt as my best friend and I grew apart.  It was like tearing apart two pieces of paper which had been glued together - the separation is never smooth, there is always some part of you that you leave with best friend as you grow further apart.  A distance which increased inch by inch, further apart each day.  It was a gradual process like a boulder slowly eroding over time from the force of the waterfall from above.  It happened unintentionally and to some extent unknowingly.  However, when notice was finally taken - the effect was evident.  Friends do not always grow closer more often than none they grow apart eventually.  

It is this feeling that is the saddening truth I've had to come to accept.  Though it is sad, the time spent with them is a memory I cherish and would not trade.  It is a memory I hope won't fade away in the same manner.
- Eldwin, 20

The commonly used word 'friend' is by definition :
1. A person whom one knows, likes, and trusts.
2. A person whom one knows; an acquaintance.
3. A person with whom one is allied in a struggle or cause; a comrade.
4. One who supports, sympathizes with, or patronizes a group, cause, or movement.
Whatever the definition is, it is undeniable that friends are important in one way or the other. especially the good ones!

All of us are bound to make a few bad choices of friends as we go along in life, but of course not forgetting those that we would treasure for the rest of our lives! Well, when it comes to making friends it’s always a tricky business. What makes a good friend? Or bad influence? How would I know what type of friends I should make? I hope after reading this post, you would be able to answer all those questions.
A true friend:
  1. is someone whom you respect and who respects you for who you are.
  2. is someone whom you would trust with everything and who can trust you.
  3. stands up for you when everyone else is putting you down.
  4. will always be there and go all out for you when you need them the most.
  5. helps you and never makes you do things that you don’t want to do.
  6. tells you the truth and if it hurts they will help you with it.
  7. tries to understand you no matter how ridiculous you sound.
  8. listens to what you say and hear what you don’t say.
  9. purely enjoys your company and not for other reasons.
  10. is patient with you when it seems that you are screwing up everything.
(Read more here)

A bad friend:
1.     takes advantage of you.
2.    will be the first one out of the room when you need them but expects you to be there when they need help.
3.    will be jealous with your success and happy for your failure.
4.    is unloyal and will back stab you when you are not around.
5.    introduces to you things that he/she knows clearly will harm you.
6.    dumps you aside while he/she hangs out with his/her ‘cooler’ friends.
Of course we can’t just go around seeking the ‘perfect friend’. After all, NO ONE is perfect! And that is what true friendship is, we love our friends for who they are and not what they do. Nevertheless, we must also constantly reflect on ourselves. Have we really been treating our friends well? Are we ourselves what resemble a good friend? Like what Gandhi said ‘be the change you want to see in the world.’.  Start with yourself, be a GREAT friend, and everyone else will follow suit!