Relationships - Parents

They used to be your idols...

...till they started to become embarassing!

Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

Ever had this happen to you, especially in public?

At age 5... My parents ARE my world.
At age 7... My parents really knew everything in the world!
At age 9... I could ask my parents anything, worldly or otherworldly.
At Age 11... Why do my parents still wave at the gate when they drop me off at school? The whole world can see you!
At age 13... Come on, i'm in a different world (high school) already, give me a break.
At age 15... Your parents are the most annoying people in the world!

Your parents. They were your first guides to this crazy world. Your dread the times they are away from you. Funny enough, these folks you used to be inseparable from soon became people you do not want to be associated with.

"Why doesn't my mum understand?"
"Why can't I attend that party?"
"So i came home after midnight, but i'm still in one piece!"
It gets trickier from there. You want to just forget them and do everything you want - it's a free world right? But no, they still give you your pocket money. Dang. You're trapped in this prison!

So how IS your relationship with your parents? There can be thousands of unique answers for this question.

All of us will go through the stage where nobody seems to understand us, and our parents will always find fault with whatever we do.

If you find yourself in this situation, try these:

1. Talk to them!
Although you might seem to be on different wavelengths, give talking a try! Most 'problems' with parents are due to a simple lack of communication, or miscommunication. Before you head out to that party or decide to get another piercing, try telling them in advance and asking them their opinion.

2. Show them you'll be fine.
Cheesy as it sounds, you will always be a baby in your parents' eyes, and acting like one does not help! Sit them down one day, talk to them about your life and how you think you've matured. Parents need assurance that you are not heading into something potentially detrimental without knowing the consequences, and it always helps to initiate the conversation.

3. Don't betray their trust.
When they realize that you are mature enough to make some decisions on your own, don't break that trust! Getting into trouble with teachers once in a while is normal, but getting thrown into a lockup for vandalism will show that you're back to square one.

4. Offer solutions.
Many a time, we will strike 'deals' with out parents. That promise to be home by 10pm when they allow you to attend that party. Agreeing to study double-time when they buy you tickets to that concert. All is well, but don't forget your end of the bargain!

5. Compromise.
When a problem seems to be stuck and both parties do not want to budge, list out the possible outcomes that can happen. Chances are that your parents will get their way, but if your can lower your demands to meet theirs, chances are that they'll meet you halfway.

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I'll leave you with some chicken soup:

Son's Statement:

"My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment! She cooked for students and teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me.

I was so embarrassed. How could she do this to me?

I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out.

The next day at school one of my classmates said, "EWW, your mom only has one eye!"

I wanted to bury myself.
I also wanted my mom to just disappear.

So I confronted her that day and said, " If you're only gonna make me a laughing stock, why don 't you just die?!!!"

My mom did not respond...

I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted out of that house, and have nothing to do with her.

So I studied real hard, got a chance to study abroad.

Then, I got married.
I bought a house of my own.
I had kids of my own.
I was happy with my life, my kids and the comforts

Then one day, my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited.

I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!"

And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.

One day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip.

After the reunion, I went to the old shack just out of curiosity. My neighbors said that she died.

I did not shed a single tear. They handed me a letter that she had wanted me to have. "

Mom's Letter:

"My dearest son,

I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to your home and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see...

When you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with one eye.

So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son who was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. With my love to you,

Your mother."